Why are we tiptoeing like teenage kids about to smoke weed in campus at night?
We’re not tiptoeing like teenage kids about to smoke weed in campus at night. We’re both holding basins full of my dirty laundry. Keep your voice down, but keep talking. I’m going to blog about this.
Should I keep on blabbering in English?
Yes. But I’ll edit out our boring lines. So don’t sweat it, kitty. But really, keep your voice down. I’m not sure about washing clothes at night, but I suspect the landlady has something against random friends dropping by at midnight to help tenants with their household chores.
I already told you I’m not helping you with your laundry. I’m just here to keep you company.
Right. Of course. So you can do the shirts and I’ll do the rest?
Good girl. Go and turn on the tap. Please.
Goodness. Why don’t you do your laundry during the day like normal people do?
The other tenants will see me straddling a basin with soap suds between my legs. Not a nice sight.
And why don’t you just get a funking washing machine in the first place?
I can’t afford them.
What about laundry shops?
Can’t afford them either. Besides, all my clothes can fit inside one big backpack. Hey, don’t wrench my shirts like that, the fabric is made from the Dead Sea Scrolls.
And what about a nice little girlfriend who doesn’t mind taking care of your filthy clothes every now and then?
Is that a question? And why is that even necessary when I have trusty friends like you?
So I’m trusty huh.
Wait. That sounds sexist. I’m a bored, insomniac, sexist dyke. Is there anything worse than that?
Which part is sexist again?
The bit about the nice little girlfriend who can transform into a Whirlpool by request.
Are you trying to be witty because I told you I’m going to blog about this?
Of course. Did you bring any cigarettes? I need a smoke.
So what do I get out of this?
Let me see. Something to do with your hands–pun unintended–and a piece of space in my very popular blog. Ugh. Please try not to look so excited.
Will I get a lot of people asking for my email address?
Yeah. But they would have to bug me about that first. They would want to know where I got one of those trusty friends who always help in times of crisis.
Tell them you got me from eBay.
Yeah. Wouldn’t be far from the truth, would it?