my new year un-resolution

This is my first post for this year and I was thinking about starting it off with a meaningful pledge—something like “From now on, I will no longer swear and use the name of God in vain” or “Today, I will become a vegetarian.” Unfortunately, such decisions are beyond my abilities, and the most I can do is to talk about old things that I will probably continue doing this year—such as smoking.

While many of my friends have heroically chose to effectively quit nicotine come 2010, unleashing a flood of Facebook status and Twitter updates on how splendidly they are getting along, I realized that I cannot “jump in the bandwagon.” I simply do not have any urgent reasons to shun cigarettes, at least not yet.

I remember this time I went to the hospital for a checkup and I had to wait in the lobby where there was a huge poster of what a smoker’s dead body would look like. The corpse, which must have been a human being once, was split open to display tar-blackened lungs and red, swollen innards which suspiciously resembled cuts of processed meat. Think rotten CDO or Pampanga’s Best. The main point of the poster of course was to scare and warn smokers that their internal organs would look disgusting, but other than mild surprise, it failed to elicit any sense of alarm in me. I know that by the time some doctor would cut me open like that, I would be too dead to care about how horrible my pancreas looks.

While on the topic of being dead, I cannot understand how some well-meaning people can believe that smokers will quit if they brought home the point that “smoking is dangerous for your health.” Sure, smoking is dangerous. But people do things that are equally dangerous and they do it all the time—like crossing a busy street without looking sideways, eating at fast-food restaurants, joining progressive groups, exercising the right to vote, and, excuse me, falling in love. Tell a regular person to stop eating at Jollibee and he will tell you to get a life.

Then there’s this argument by one officemate that we will call Helga. I am not sure how popular this case is among quitters and would-be quitters, but according to Helga, and to some health experts, cigarettes are bad for the skin and hair and that nicotine makes you look old and smell awful. I think I told her that if I had been a girl or if I had terrific looks to worry about, I would be concerned. But luckily, I was spared in both counts.

And so at the end of the day, the dawn of the decade, I am here in front of the computer, opening a fresh pack of menthol cigarettes. I light a stick and reach for my disposable lighter. I take a deep drag from the cigarette and let the smoke escape my mouth slowly in thin wisps and thick blobs. A sudden thought occurs to me. Nothing tastes and feels as good as one’s own stubbornness.

Happy New Year, you people.

PS. Due to boredom and the lack of better things to do, I have picked up my literary pen again and wrote my first story in many months. It’s ambitious and I was hoping someone would confirm my suspicions. Click here to read the thing or click on the link there on the sidebar.


14 thoughts on “my new year un-resolution

  1. you did this on purpose…. akala mo maeengganyo akong magyosi after reading this….?well…. happy new year victor… ahlabyou…. muahz

  2. Jeff, guilty ka naman masyado. Hehe.Caloy, ikaw ang kumausap, baka, uhm, makinig sayo? LOL.Andy, marginalized talaga tayong mga gustong tumaba. Buti pa ang mga gustong magpapayat, maraming mga regimen-regimen na mapagpipilian. Hehe.Chuck, happy new year to you, too. :)Dave, tignan natin kung hanggang kelan niya mapapangatawanan. ;)Ewik, Hala ikaw rin ba? LOL.Epal, salamat sa pagbisita. Happy You Year din! 🙂

  3. Nicotine is the writer's elixir. Her misty spell sublimates with the prose, and her scent clinging like the morning dew on freshly-cut grass. She is intoxicating. Her bitter nectar upon the lungs willful and begging. A warmth beyond the sun.I will not go cold turkey. I will proudly brandish my tobacco as a knight would his sheath. I am a smoker, hear me rant!

  4. "like crossing a busy street without looking sideways, eating at fast-food restaurants, joining progressive groups, exercising the right to vote, and, excuse me, falling in love. "ayun o. i was looking for this line. hahanow i understand what you and yj were talking about last night. haha sucks to be him. napayosi natin siya. haha"Nothing tastes and feels as good as one’s own stubbornness."couldn't agree with you more. ang sarap friend's friend quit smoking and drinking cold turkey tapos i think he went slightly vegan pa. he died. so if u want to live, smoke lang ng smoke! haha

  5. i know i posted a comment here but i can't seem to find it. the error in many of the smoking cessation movements is that smoking is not the problem, it is the solution. educating people on how bad smoking is only further reinforces the unconscious correctness of its state as a solution to some unconscious problem.

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